Four years, 18 days ago my sister shot and killed herself.
Four years, 22 days ago my mother overdosed.
Four years ago I stopped sleeping with my father stopped raping me.
Four years ago my daughter was almost two and I barely knew how to be a mother.
Four years ago today I met my my husband.
As I am writing this, I am looking out our study window and I can see my daughter riding her bike with friends and my husband hanging Christmas lights, something he has been doing since this past Sunday. Yes, he is that guy. If you had told me four years ago that this is where I would be today, I would have probably told you to fuck off and I definitely would have laughed at you.
I have much, very much, to be thankful for. My husband is perfect for me. My daughter is thriving. It's a risky thought but it is very possible that I am thriving too. Things aren't perfect and yes, I still struggle but things are so much better than four years ago. I have a family to love and I have a family that loves me. I have a home, not just a house, and we are raising our daughter with the example I always dreamed of for myself. My daughter made this toilet paper wedding cake today for no particular reason and it struck me as funny that she knew what a married couple looks like. Had I made that cake when I was her age, God knows how I would have depicted a married couple; perhaps with punches being thrown and broken glass topping the cake. It made me smile to see her model a healthy family. Something... lots of things... are finally going right.
P.S. I love how creative my daughter is; she came up with this all by herself!
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20 comments:
Fantastic post. There is a lot of Thanksgiving in the air. Well done to your daughter too, for her work of art.
Wow. So much has happened in four years. Four years! It's no time at all. I am so happy for you! Have a wonderful Thanksgiving.
ER, there certainly is a lot of Thanksgiving in the air. I am actually beginning to like this time of year. :)
Happy Thanksgiving!
Jennifer, it is amazing what can happen in a short time isn't it? My husband put it so wonderfully last night when he said that yesterday was our New Year's eve. Yesterday marked the anniversayr of beginning of a new time in both of our lives and this time of year is when we both seem to take an inventory to see how far we have come together.
Thank you for reading and Happy Thanksgiving to you!
Indeed, a HUGE four years. And it seems like the fates have taken care of you nicely. One family removed, another to take it's place. I'm so very pleased for you. Here's hoping the next four years double your happiness. :)
I think my first comment got lost somewhere....just wanted to say that it's remarkable how far you have come in four years, and that life, if not God, works in mysterious ways. You deserve every moment of your happiness.
Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family and tell your daughter that I think she's a good artist!
Only four years ago! It is amazing that you have come as far as you have in so short a space of time. Just think where you will be in another four years.
My very best wishes to you and your family; the love you have now will be your salvation.
this is such a hopeful post... looking at where you've come from to where you've ended up is truly remarkable - and just think, your journey is still not over: there are so many morw wonderful things to come in your marriage and with your daughter...
A lot happened in four years, but after the rain, there was a beautiful rainbow.
Your daughter is indeed very creative!^^
Svasti, it sure has been a huge four years. Thank you for your well wishes!
Deborah, life certainly does have mysterious ways sometimes. Looking back, it is pretty cool how far I have come. Honestly, it doesn't feel like it most of the time but it is nice when I can look back and see it.
I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving!
Friko, in another four years... I haven't even thought that far ahead but I do hope that I have gained more wisdom by then. :) Thank you for your well wishes; I am indeed blessed by my family.
Will, I am glad I was able to convey hope through this post. It continues to give me hope when I read it. It seems strange to think of this journey as not being over; I have never been able to really look forward to anything. I am usually just looking back and being thankful, or suprised, that I survived. Thank you for your encouragement.
Sashindoubutsu, my daughter is definitely a rainbow in my life! She is very creative; sometimes too much as her bedroom walls will attest to. :)
Thank you first and foremost for your post, you have no idea what an inspiration and light of hope it was for me to read today! Your writing skills are so eloquent, raw, beautiful!!! I can't thank you enough for sharing your story of healing!!
Her cake is wondrous. They are dancing, looking at each other, unlike most bride-groom cake toppers where they are standing side by side.
They are dancing, aren't they?! I hadn't noticed that before. I love watching the world through a child's eyes... :)
ER, there certainly is a lot of Thanksgiving in the air. I am actually beginning to like this time of year. :) Happy Thanksgiving!
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