Forbidden

There are things I shouldn't talk about.  Because most love animals with whole hearts.

There are things I shouldn't tell.  Because dirty can be silently detected.

There are things I should never do.  Because in doing I am searing a piece of soul.

A single quiver of fear escapes through my fingers.  I pet the dog in front of me and he licks my trembling fear away.  Such a reassuring wiggle as his tail paints the air with a smile.  I find a tiny smile of my own to give in exchange for hope.

A cold fist pushes me on my back and my pink shame is exposed.  I reach for my new found comfort but then he pulls him back.  I cry for his wagging smile.  Instead a furry paw is placed in my tiny hand. 

Move your hand... he growls as his rigid fingers are tightly curled around my wrist.  Forward and backward.  He moves my hand to pet the paw.  I open my my smashed shut eyes to see the dog standing nearly next to me. 

One.  Two.  Three.  Four.  I am not petting a paw at all.

There are things I shouldn't write about.  Because this pain is more than forbidden.