Friday, March 26, 2010

I Know

If they only knew?

I know.  I have been with you for many years and it is easy to say that I know you just as well as you know yourself. 

I watched you as a small child reach out to love them.  I watched you as an older child dying to be loved.  I have watched you as an adult love your own child.  I know you and I see your love for those who love you back as well as those who never did love you.  This ability to love is amazing and it is something not everyone in this world possesses.

This love makes you good.  This love also makes you unlike him, or her for that matter.  You will never be like him because you are not sick.  Sick is doing what he did; sick is raising you in a nightmare like she did.  And while I know how bad you feel, you are quite healthy despite your pain. 

Despite your pain you have not quit.  Despite your pain you love.   Despite your pain you grow.  We haven't always known if we were going to make it.  Many times I have doubted our fate.  But today I can tell you that we ARE well and we are going to make it... because of you.  You are strong, you are loving, and you are not them and you never have been like them.

I know you and I know we are going to all right.

-James

13 comments:

maggie said...

Ahmen

Andrea said...

AMEN

Deborah said...

James, I've very glad you are there for Jennifer.
You understand her in a way I cannot, although I try. However, what we share is a common belief in her goodness and her strength and the promise of her future. You, too, are good.

Rhonda said...

Written beautifully

English Rider said...

Hugs and support to you all together.

Ruth said...

Exactly what I felt after reading the previous post. Absolutely fricking right!!!

Journal of Healing said...

James, you have ministered to my heart as well. Thank you. You remind me of my Windy. I would never be able to see the good and the thriving of it all with out her. Thank you for building Jennifer/all of you up with your loving, transparent, encouraging and hope-filled words.

Thankful for you, and others like you. Listening to YOU makes me SOOO thankful for Windy!

Smiling with a few tears,

ang

Malefic said...

Whenever you post anything I am instantly enthralled. You say things many of us do not know how to express. Thank you.

Journal of Healing said...

Jennifer, I had to come back and read this. I've read it a few times over the past day. It warms my heart like Holden's Letter to Karen in Switching Time (if you've read that), and gives me such joy and thankfulness for the gift of dissociation. See? you ARE GONNA MAKE IT! Keep ministering to those insiders with help from your healthy core of insiders like James...and dammit, YOU WILL OVERCOME! So thankful you chose to post this, James. IT gives me even more hope for my own process.

ang (AGAIN! haha)

Rising Rainbow said...

Amen indeed!

sarah said...

me too....amen!!!!!

Friko said...

take care of each other and you will do it.

Von said...

Courage and hard, painful work gets you there eventually.Good wishes to you.....